It's The Final Countdown...

Monday is fastly approaching. The big day is almost here. I am actually getting a little excited about this. I'm getting my menus ready and I'm working on my grocery list. All of this feels so familiar, as it should since I've traveled this road many times before.
So what's different this time? Will I succeed this time, or find myself back in this spot again only a month or a year later? Well, here's what's different this time versus every time in the past; home movies!
You see, I had a rude awakening these past few days. Since it's Christmas Michael decided to drag out the old home movies to watch of Christmas past. I wasn't prepared though for what I was about to see. It brought me to tears. I had no idea I was that big, for that long. I was embarrassed for my kids to see them. We watched a home movie as far back as 16 years ago, and I was even large back then.
So it made me realize something, I have not been thin for at least 16 years, with the exception of right before I got pregnant with Toby. I had lost 67 pounds but then got pregnant with Toby. I ended up gaining 67 pounds. That was 4 years ago and I am still trying to take off that baby fat.
This has been a sad awakening. Something must change for me. That's what's different this time. Reality has finally set in. I no longer view myself thinner than what I actually am. I think all these years I have been in denial. It's time for action now and no longer denial.
In a few short years I will be 40 years old and I want the second half of my life to be better than the first. It is what I make it. I am in control of my body. It's time for change! I have the power to change and no one or no thing can stop me! As I venture down this road, I intend to journal what I eat, post recipes and express my emotions along the way. Warning...the content of future blogging journals may not be suitable for all viewers, as I may not be responsible for the emotions I express in the beginning of this new lifestyle. Ha ha!