Sabotage

I hate the weekends! I always seem to sabotage myself on the weekends. I see the weekends as "fun food times". I know, it's only a matter of changing my outlook, but that is at times easier said than done. Why couldn't I have just been born with a "skinny" gene? LOL
I've been reading a wonderful book about learning to love myself, and I read an amazing quote. It said, I need to challenge what I believe I am, especially the beliefs that limit the expression of my life. (Like how I treat myself with food) If I am constantly treating my body like a garbage disposal, what do I think of myself. Is that an expression of love? Eating crappy food is not a reward, it's a punishment! And It's definitely not an expression of love toward myself. When we love something, we treat it with care.
So, I continue to learn on this journey. I know as I learn to love myself unconditionally, I will take much better care of my body and what I put into it.

Changing Gears

I must confess something, but first apologize for not blogging much lately. Michael and I decided to redo our kitchen cabinets and it has consumed us just a little. I am so glad I am doing this though because  I am able to relate the transformation of my cabinets to my own personal life. It has been amazing! I feel I am being transformed as the cabinets are also transformed.
Now to my confession...I can no longer tolerate this HCG diet. This does not mean however that I am quitting, because I am not! I am only shifting gears to another plan. I am going on a more healthier plan for me. I truly am one who believes every "body" is different and so should be their diet. We are not "one size fits all" by no means! So therefore, neither should our diets be. I want to say however, please don't allow my opinion of the HCG diet effect your decision to try it. We all need to form our own opinions.
I will continue to post what I will be eating so you may follow my progress and continue to witness my weight loss progress.
The plan I will be doing, I have done before and had amazing progress with. I lost 67 pounds before I got pregnant with Toby. It's called Michael Thurman's 6 Week Body Makeover. Some of you may have heard of it. If you want more information on it, just post a comment and I can help you with it.
Tomorrow I will post my meals and explain more about the plan.

Day 19 Admitting To Failure

For the past several days I have had an unexpected, yet pleasant house guest. This is the reason I haven't blogged in several days. When you have guests stay with you, you tend to eat out at some point, or at least we do. I have to admit I cheated several times because of eating out. I do have regrets, of course. But, the beauty of falling is, you get back up! My plan is to get right back on that horse and keep on riding.With the help of my friend, I learned a lot about myself over the past few days. She helped me see why I do some of the things I do.

I must admit, I am scared to get on the scale tomorrow. I don't doubt I have gained so I know it's crack down time for me. Look, we all flub at some point in our diets, don't we? I am willing to be completely transparent and admit I cheated. Before, I used to hide it. The beauty of it is, we learn from it. I must say, I feel miserable right now, not mentally...but physically. I feel like a stuffed pig! I hate that feeling. Thankfully, it will only be temporary! Tomorrow is a new day!

For the sake of my dignity, I wont post what I have been eating the past few days. LOL

Day 16 I'm Melting!

I failed to blog last night due to being sick. Yesterday was my weekly weigh in though and I am happy to report I lost 4.6 pounds for the past week. Then I got up this morning and to my surprise I lost another pound so that takes my grand total to 17 pounds in two weeks. Yay me! I must admit, I was worried after I cheated at the fair but this just goes to show this really is working, but I too have to work it as well. If anyone is considering this diet, I just want to warn you. It's not easy by no means. I have had to mourn the loss of food over the past few weeks. I've have to show extreme disciple when my family was eating my favorite foods. I've done plenty of diets in my life time and quit on almost all of them, only to gain more weight back. I am determined I will not quit this, even though there has been times I wanted to.
Losing this much so fast is only giving me fuel to keep on going. I am so determined to lose the whole 40 pounds in 40 days. My health coach tells me that not many can do that and that most women only lose 25-30 pounds in the 40 days. I tend to be the exception to that! I will set the bar for women on this plan!

I'm not posting my meals for yesterday because it's the same as I usually eat.

Day 14 Cheater Cheater, Funnel Cake Eater!

I was pleased to see I lost another pound. Although, getting on the scale wont be so pleasing tomorrow. I would love to avoid it if I could. Today I showed my human side. Yes, I cheated. I have two moments of weaknesses. I refuse to beat myself up over it though because life does sometimes get in the way. For me today, I was getting in the cabinet for my melba toast and staring back at me was a small piece of candy. I don't know what came over me but I just reached in and grabbed it. This triggered a mini binge that I am not proud of. Then, tonight we went to the fair. I was very good until it was time to leave and everyone was getting funnel cakes. How do you go to the fair and not get a funnel cake? Well, I didn't get one of my own, like I usually do. I only ate a bit of Baileys and a bit of Michaels. Well..I had to even things out ya know...lol Tomorrow, if I gain more than two pounds I will have to do something they call a steak day. It's where I don't eat all day, just take my drops and then at the end of the day I have the biggest piece of steak I can handle. The next day, it's claimed you will take off those gained pounds. The scale will tell all...tomorrow!
I will not bother posting my meals for the day for the sake of my dignity. lol

Day 13 Priorities

I see a pattern happening here. No loss today. It seems I see a loss about every other day now. I am sure it's my body readjusting after a loss. I am not complaining though, at least all this hard work is paying off. I am learning valuable lessons on this journey.
One of them, prioritizing. I am learning where my priorities lie. Even though it is so hard for me to give up food, my number one priority is my health. Losing weight for me isn't just for vanity purposes, even though I want to look good in those jeans. I want to be around for my kids future, I don't want to be the fat mom who is too tired to play with my kids. I want to feel good and have more energy. So, for me, what comes first is eating healthy. When I am tempted to eat something I shouldn't have, all I do is remember how it tasted. I tell myself that food only last a moment, but the pound gained can last much longer.
So, here's what I ate today:

Lunch: Turkey burger  170 cals
            rotel     20 cals
            small apple   55 cals

Dinner: Turkey chili   180 cals
             Melba toast   20 cals
             small apple   55 cals

Today's total calories  500

Getting all my water in each day has been a struggle for me but I managed to get it all in today and I remembered my vitamins.

Day 12 Don't Rush Progress

If it's worth having, then it's worth working and waiting for. Today the scale didn't move. Of course after what I blogged about yesterday, having the fear of the scale, it bothered me. I feel like I am in a hurry. I want to hurry up and get this weight off, get these 40 days over with, even rush my food. Good healthy fresh food takes time to prepare, as well as it takes time to lose weight. I didn't gain it all in a week so why should I expect to lose it all so fast? Patience has never been my strong point. Until someone gave me this diet, I didn't even want to try losing weight anymore. Now I am determined to lose this again. I will get this weight off, but in the timing my body needs, not my mind wants.

So, here's what I ate today:

Breakfast: Egg beaters  25 cals
Lunch: Turkey chili 180 cals
            Melba toast  20 cals
            Strawberry lemon aid 80 cals
Dinner: Chicken salad w/ strawberries  195
             Melba toast  20

Total: 520

Confession: Michael and Bailey ate steak tonight and out of weakness, I had two bites, but it was soooo yummy! LOL